


The Journal

by KattyBorz



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, References to The Notebook (2004)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KattyBorz/pseuds/KattyBorz
Summary: Steve was from the lower class and didn’t have two pennies to rub together. He worked hard to help his mother with the bills and the only thing he had to his name was the motorcycle his dad had left him before going away to the Great War. Tony came from money and a from a city of opportunity. He wanted to change the world. They got in fights like every other couple, just more often. They would scream and yell at each other for hours but one thing remained the same. They always came back to each other.” Captain’s glasses started to slide down his nose. He paused to push them in place and glanced up to see his captive audience.“I like this story,” the other man stated. “Do they fall in love?”The Captain smiled and nodded. “Yes, they do. They fall in love.”





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Notebook AU that I decided to do. Set in 1939 and current day.

New York Present

“Sir?” A voice called out to him and he turned to see the nurse standing behind the counter. She had her arm extended and a small plastic cup in her hand. “Your daily special.” She said with a smile.

The older man accepted the cup and tossed back its contents before tossing it in the trash. “Thank you. LeeAnn.” He shuffled down the white hallway towards the recreation room where he knew he would find him, the love of his life. In the inside pocket of his sweater, a black journal was tucked away safely, he would occasionally pat it to ensure that it was indeed there and it wasn’t his imagination.

Two orderlies pushed open the doors for him and his eyes immediately set out to search for the one who stole his heart. In the corner there were a couple of old men playing chess, a game he was sure had been going on for several weeks now. A group of women were sitting at the table nearest the windows playing bridge while another group sat in a circle towards the front of the room knitting and crocheting articles of clothing for their grandchildren. The TV to the left was on and a game was playing with a few men sitting in the overstuffed couches and armchairs with the occasional cheer and shout of disdain. Finally, his eyes rested on the one person he swore he could never live without. Age had gotten the better of him, his hair was greyer than it used to be and there were wrinkles on the once flawless face. He was standing at the window, staring at something far beyond any person could imagine, lost in his thoughts.

The old man sighed and walked back towards the other man before he tapped him lightly on the shoulder, drawing him out of his mind.

“Hello,” he said with a smile.

“Do I know you?” was the response.

“Everyone here calls me, Captain.” The old man said, his hand extended.

“Oh.” The other man said with a shaky smile. “Hi, I’m…” He paused and his face fell blank. “I don’t remember my name.”

“That’s alright.” Captain said. “We have met before.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you.”

“Oh, don’t fret about that. Would you like me to read to you?”

The other man watched the Captain warily. “Do you read to me often?”

“Oh yes. You love the store and constantly ask me to read it to you.”

The other man gave the Captain a shy smile and nodded. The Captain guided him to a soft armchair and sat in the neighboring couch. He reached into his sweater pocket and pulled out the small journal. He flipped through a couple of pages before he came upon the first entry and he began to read.

 

* * *

 

New York 1939

It was May, summer had just begun. The sun was an hour or so away from setting and Steve grabbed his lunch pail as he headed off the dock towards the streets. An arm suddenly enveloped his shoulders and his friend Bucky fell in step beside him. Steve was proud to note that he stood a little taller than his childhood pal and was able to see the top of his head, he was a little stockier, too. Since Bucky hooked him up with moving shipping boxes from the containers ships’ shipping containers and into trucks, Steve had grown a foot and a half and put on a hundred pounds of muscle. His friend whined and complained about not being the hot one in the friendship but he settled when Steve would brush off women and let him be the rebound. It worked for them.

It didn’t take Bucky long to figure out that his friend wasn’t like other guys their age. It’s not like it’s taboo or anything like it would be in the 1800’s, but this is the 20th century and people were becoming more accepting. Instead of going out on the town with a rowdy group of men, Steve preferred to stay at home and read to his mother. He didn’t join in the wolf whistles and cat calls when a beautiful woman walked by, he barely ever spoke to a lady besides absolutely necessary. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Steve’s orientation wasn’t all about finding a wife, it was something much greater than that. Steve had finally confessed to him late one night when they were fourteen, saying how he notices men like he should be noticing women and how he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want Bucky to get the wrong idea and lose him as a friend. Bucky had hugged him and promised that no matter what, they’d always be brothers.

It took him a couple of months, but eventually Steve was comfortable enough to talk about guys with Bucky, nothing more than “I saw this guy, he was pretty cute” and Bucky encouraging careful make-out sessions in dark alleyways like a good friend would do.

“Are you coming to the Island tonight?” Bucky asked as they headed down the sidewalk. “I’m meeting Natasha and some of her crowd there and I could really use someone normal.”

Natasha was Bucky’s new flame. They had met several times to hang out and try and set Steve up with someone. Steve and Natasha grew a close friendship and sometimes they would get lunch together and comment on the different guys that walked by, much to Bucky’s whining and resistance. But it felt good to have someone to joke around about that stuff with, he didn’t want to push Bucky too far even though he said they’d always have each other as family.

“Buck, that’s on the other side of Brooklyn.” Steve blanched. “I’d have to leave now to get there on time.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Bucky hopped ahead and faced Steve, walking backwards. “My old man let me have the keys to the car so I’ll swing by and pick your punk ass up.”

Steve smiled and shook his head. “Alright. Fine. I’ll go.” Steve chuckled as Bucky did a victory fist pump. “But you’re buying my ticket.”

“Deal!”

 

***

 

“This damn thing is rigged.” Bucky muttered as he snatched the small plush toy from the attendant’s hand. “You saw that I crushed that game, right?”

“Yeah, Buck, whatever you say.” Steve casted his eyes around as he took in the crowds at Luna Park. He remembered coming here as a kid and he remembered being so excited that he ate an entire funnel cake that his parents bought him and then threw it back up on the Cyclone. He stopped at the Tilt-A-Whirl and recognized Natasha smiling broadly as squeals of laughter came from the man riding with her.

He was beautiful. His dark hair whipped around with the spinning car, his eyes were slammed shut. Steve’s eyes lingered on his smile, wide and bright and nearly showing every milky white tooth. His pale pink lips were stretched as laughter tumbled from them. The mystery man was wearing a soft looking dark button up shirt tucked into grey trousers. Steve was completely frozen as he watched the man laugh and smile. He didn’t notice that Bucky had stepped beside him until he threw an elbow into the blonde’s gut.

“Earth to Steve, come in Steve!” Bucky laughed as his friend glared at him. “What’s got you in a fix?”

“Who’s that with Natasha?” Steve nodded toward where the ride had stopped and Natasha and the man were descending the ramp.

“That’s Tony,” Bucky responded. “He’s been hanging around Natasha for the past week since apparently they’re childhood friends for life.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “His daddy is some big tycoon on the west coast, Natasha said something about them being in town for the summer.”

Steve watched as the man, known now as Tony, and Natasha be absorbed by a couple of men and were herded toward them. In a sudden act of bravery that Steve had no idea where it originated, he leapt out and landed directly in front of Tony. He recoiled slightly in surprise and the man standing next to the brunette wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders.

“Go out with me.” Steve blurted.

“Um, what?” Tony asked with a raised eyebrow, his lips pulled into a frown.

“Go out with me.”

“No.” Tony responded as he stepped to the side to walk around the blonde. Steve, however, stepped with him.

“Why not?”

“Hey!” The man next to Tony called. Steve’s eyes flickered over. He was dark skinned and he was also wearing too nice of clothes for Coney Island. “Can’t you see he’s with us? Back off.”

Steve watched as the group moved toward the Ferris Wheel.

“Uh oh, I know that look.” Bucky stated with his arm wrapped around Natasha’s waist. He looked at her as he explained, “That is the look he gets just before he has a hairbrained idea that will most likely get him killed.” He turned back to Steve and sighed. “Come on, man, just let it go. He’s not interested, move on like the rest of us.”

Steve didn’t say anything, he just watched as Tony and his friends waited in line for the Ferris Wheel.

“Come on, let’s hit the wheel.” Natasha grinned and pulled Bucky to wait in line with Tony. Steve sighed and watched as each couple loaded into a cart before ascending into the air. An idea struck him, he checked to see who was operator tonight before he decided to make his move. Sam Wilson was loading couples and running the ride so he decided to move forward with his plan. He jogged towards the front of the line.

“Sorry, Sam,” he said as he launched onto the side of the wheel.

“Steve, what the hell are you doing?!” Sam shouted as the wheel came to a stop.

The blonde ignored the shouts of indignation and complaint as he climbed to the cart at the top of the wheel. He dangled in front of Tony and the guy from earlier before launching himself between the two.

“The hell?” the other guy said as he leaned away from Steve.

“I’m Steve Rogers,” Steve said as he extended a hand to Tony.

“Hi?” Tony responded.

“Tony, who the hell is this?” the man asked Tony, offended.

“I don’t know,” Tony responded, “Steve Rogers?”

“Steve! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” A voice shouted from the next car below, Natasha. “Get down from there! Are you crazy?”

“Yo! Steve, no more than two in a car!” Sam yelled from the ground.

He stood and reached out to grab onto the bar attached to the wheel and hung there facing the couple. Tony was watching him with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow. Several gasps and shouts were heard from down below but he ignored them as he focused on Tony.

“Will you go out with me?” he asked sincerely. “Please?”

“I already told you,” Tony started shaking his head.

“Alright, you leave me no choice.” Steve interrupted as he released the bar with his left hand as he dangled thirty feet in the air.

Tony shouted in surprise as he lifted an arm like he was getting ready to catch Steve if he should fall. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Say you’ll go out with me.” Steve said staring Tony straight into his chocolate brown eyes.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Steve!” Natasha shouted. “You moron! Get down before you get yourself killed!”

“Say you’ll go out with me.”

“What if I say no?” Tony asked.

“Then I fall thirty feet.” Steve said unwavering. Tony just stared at him. A couple of moments pass and Steve decided to up the ante. “Oh, man. I’m slipping. Could you please hurry it up a bit? I’m about to fall.”

“FINE!”

Steve smiled widely at Tony.

“Fine!” Tony said as he threw his hands up in frustration.

“You’ll go out with me?” Steve asked with a smile.

“Yes.”

“Say it.”

“What?”

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

“You know what.”

“I really don’t.”

“Say you’ll go out with me.”

“Alright, I’ll go out with you.”

“Louder.” Steve’s smile turned into a smirk.

“I’ll go out with you!” Tony shouted, a irritated smile creeping on his lips. “God, you’re fucking stubborn!”

“Promise?” Steve asked.

“Yes,” Tony eyed Steve warily as the blonde pulled his other hand back up to grip the steel bar. His brown eyes lit up in mischief as he crossed his arms over his chest. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked. Tony leaned forward and quickly undid Steve’s belt, the smile the blonde had on his face fell into shock and worry. “Please, don’t do that.” Tony grinned wide as the moved on to the snap and zipper on Steve’s trousers. “Seriously, I wouldn’t do that.” The brunette ignored him as he tugged Steve’s pants down to his knees. Tony laughed and Steve smiled in embarrassment. More laughs joined the beautiful brunette from the ground and the other carts on the Ferris Wheel and Steve felt the blush explode over his face. He gave a nod to Tony as he inched his way to the edge to pull up his pants before his long climb back down. “That’s real nice, I’m gonna get you back for that.”

               

It was another week before Steve saw Tony again, he was headed home from the docks alone since Bucky had the day off when he caught sight of a familiar head of brown hair. Excitedly, Steve jogged to catch up and grinned when he recognized Tony. He was hearing a white shirt and a pair black trousers this time with shiny black shoes. Steve took a moment to appreciate the way the clothes hung off of Tony’s body and he felt the same bravery from the night before return as he ran in front of Tony and stopped.

“Hey!” Steve said with a bright smile.

“Hi.” Tony greeted with an unsure smile.

“Remember me?” Steve asked, dumbly.

Tony smiled grudgingly. “Yes, I think the last time I saw you, you were dangling in mid-air with your pants around your ankles.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “You would remember that.”

“Alright, well I have placed I need to be.” Tony dismissed the blonde as he continued on his way down the sidewalk.

“Now, hold on.” Steve reached out to pull the other man to a stop. Tony slowly turned around and stared at him impatiently. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Like what?”

“Our date.” Steve answered, looking at Tony expectantly. The brunette just stared right back at him. “You know, the one you promised to go on with me?”

“Hmmm, I don’t remember that.” Tony gave him a polite smile and began to walk away again. Instead of stopping him. Steve followed behind.

“You said you’d go on a date with me.” The blonde admonished.

“What? A guy can’t change his mind?” Tony tossed over his shoulder. Steve heaved a deep breath as he jumped in front of the smaller man once again. “Alright, you need to stop that or one of us is gonna get hurt. Most likely me, since you’re carved out of stone, but still. Knock that crap off.”

“Just go on one date with me.” Steve insisted, ignoring Tony’s rambles.

“I don’t even know you.”

Steve stared at Tony and sighed. “True. But I know me. And I won’t stop until I get that date.”

Tony stared at him for a long time, as he was trying to figure out if he was serious or if it was just another bluff. Steve’s blue eyes were wide and had a slight crazy look to them as the taller man waited for his answer. Tony blinked at him a few times before he said, “I’ll think about it,” before he stepped around Steve and hurried down the sidewalk.

Steve stood there, in shock, and turned around to watch too late as Tony darted around the corner.

 

***

 

Steve stepped out of the car and looked around, they were at one of a few movie theaters in Brooklyn parked in the lot across the street. He scanned over the other vehicles and the pedestrians on the street before his located his favorite brunette. He shot a look at Bucky who grinned.

“Stevie, you’ve been going on and on about Tony so Nat and I decided to intervene.” Bucky shoved his friend across the street towards Natasha who was standing there with Tony. Once the brown eyes landed on the blonde he directed a glare at his friend.

“Seriously?” Tony asked as Nat tried to shush him. The brunette lowered his voice to a whisper and hissed in Nat’s ear. “You set me up with loser stalker deviant?”

“Tony, he’s not a bad person.” Nat rolled her eyes. “Give him a chance, okay?”

“Fine,” Tony said, he pointed at both Natasha and Bucky, “but you two are paying and I want popcorn.”

Steve smiled and followed the group inside the movie theatre. As promised, Tony did get his popcorn after they purchased tickets to the corniest cheeseball movie that was playing. They sat on either side of the happy couple and settled in to the previews and the updates about what had been going on overseas. Not five minutes after the movie started, Bucky and Natasha focused more on each other than the film. Steve wasn’t a prude or anything and this was hardly the first time he had witnessed his best friend put the moves on a dame, but he was starting to feel like a third wheel. He chanced a look over at Tony on the other side of Nat and was proud to notice that he was glancing at Steve every now and then. Encouraged, Steve climbed over the chairs and plopped down next to Tony and gave him a smile. Tony returned it and offered him his popcorn before they returned their focus to the film.

               

Once the credits were rolling, the group of four left the theater and crossed the road back to Bucky’s car, Steve had his hands shoved in his pockets and Tony kept bumping into him as he animatedly talked with Natasha, he’d throw a coy smile at Steve that told the blonde that Tony knew exactly what he was doing.

“No, but in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad of a movie.” Bucky stated as he unlocked the car.

“That bad of a movie? Are you kidding me, Barnes? How the hell would you know? You spent the entire movie sucking face with Nat!” Tony countered with a grin.

“Touché.” Bucky smiled at Natasha and gave her a swift kiss to the cheek. He opened the doors. “Alright, where to next?”

Steve ignored his best friend and looked down at Tony. “You wanna take a walk?” he asked quietly. Tony nodded and his face broke out into a wide grin. Steve looked up at Bucky and said, “You know, we’re just gonna walk.”

“You sure?” Bucky asked, his arms raised.

“Yeah, we’re just gonna head that way.” Steve gestured down the street.

“Okay, have fun. Be safe!” Bucky called as Steve and Tony headed down the sidewalk. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Steve rolled his eyes and then refocused on Tony. He had a wide smile and he had a little pep to his walk, he looked genuinely happy and Steve couldn’t not look at him. He couldn’t believe that this amazing man is right there next to him, so close and not close enough. Deciding to push it a little further, the blonde reached out and gently grabbed the smaller man’s hand, Tony looked up at him as his smile developed into a calmer upturn of those pink lips and Steve’s heart skipped. What he wouldn’t do to keep that look on Tony’s face forever?

“Barnes is full of shit, you know?” Tony said interrupting Steve’s admiration. “That movie was terrible. Completely and utterly awful. I can’t believe people spend money to actually watch that disaster. I distinctly remember movies being far more entertaining. But that was…huh, that was like ten years ago.”

“Ten years?” Steve repeated. “You haven’t seen a movie in ten years?”

Tony just blinked up at him. “You have no clue who I am, do you?” Steve just stared at him waiting for him to continue. The brunette sighed and rolled his eyes. “Well, at least now I can say you’re not after me for my money.” Tony chuckled. “I’m Tony Stark, y’know the one and only heir to the fame and fortune of Stark Industries?”

Steve gaped at him. “You’re that Tony?”

“That’s not exactly the reaction I normally get. Usually, people ask a million and one questions about the company and about Howard and how great it is to be his son.” Tony frowned and casted his eyes down to the sidewalk. “What they don’t know is that I want absolutely nothing to do with a company that makes and sells weapons. There’s a war going on in Europe and who knows how long it’ll be before we’re shipping out our bravest and strongest to fight for this country. Those men are going to need the best, but I want to do more than weapon technology. That’s the biggest thing that dear ol’ dad and I disagree on, he wants to groom me into the perfect successor for the company.” Tony scoffed as he kicked a rock down an alley. Steve gently squeezed the younger’s hand in comfort. “But that’s okay, once I get out from under his thumb I’m going to change the world!”

“How’s that?” Steve smiled encouragingly.

“I’m a genius, dear Steve. I’ll come up with something.” Tony laughed when Steve rolled his eyes. “I’ve been thinking about advanced robotics and energy sources that today’s modern age hasn’t even contemplated because we don’t have the resources at our disposal. And they’re half right. It’s easy to make history these days because we have an entire future to think up something amazing and have years to accomplish it.”

“Robotics, you said?” Steve noticed how Tony’s eyes had lit up in excitement and wanted to keep the good mood rolling. “What kind of robotics?”

Tony grinned. “The kind that’s way more awe inspiring than a flying car that Howard is working on.” Tony rolled his eyes in exasperation and Steve laughed. “Seriously, it may sound farfetched and damn near impossible but I’m thinking Artificial Intelligence. Talking robots and computers to better society. Imagine, if you will, a super computer that is able to multitask and I’m not talking about just doing more than one thing at a time, but is able to pave the way to a better medicinal practice and is able to calculate thousands upon thousands of equations like mapping the trajectory of a missile or plane and that’s just the start of AI. What if there were robots to assist in surgeries or to go out in the battlefield to help protect the men overseas?”

“Wow,” Steve looked ahead as he mulled over the new information. “I guess I never thought about it before.”

“It’s all about legacy,” Tony continued. “What we leave behind on the world for the generations to come and make the world a little bit better for them.” Steve watched Tony, the smaller man had an almost pensive expression and his brown eyes were focused on something far away, probably far in the future, and a smile tugging at his lips. “Which is why it had been so long since I actually went to a movie theatre to watch a movie. I’ve been busy.”

“Do you love doing it?” Steve asked, his thumb rubbed gentle arches on the back of Tony’s hand.

“Yeah, I do.” The brunette smiled up at him and Steve had to physically hold himself back from kissing him.

“You want to dance with me?” Steve asked as he started to pull Tony toward the middle of the deserted street, it was late and no one was out this far in Brooklyn, but the smaller man let go of Steve’s hand and stood on the edge of the sidewalk as the blonde continued into the street.

“Are you serious?”

“Come on, there are no cars it’s not like we’re gonna get hit or anything. Normal people are in bed by now.” Steve extended his hand out to Tony with a smirk.

Tony moved forward hesitatingly. “There’s no music.” He pointed out as he was enveloped in a pair of strong arms, the brunette’s hand moved on its own as it rested on Steve’s shoulder while the other was clasped in Steve’s against the bigger man’s chest.

“We’ll make our own music.” Steve whispered as he began to lead them into a simple dance that took Bucky years to teach him.

He started to hum the song his mom played constantly around the house and his heart nearly leapt out of his chest when Tony rested his head against his shoulder. Steve turned his face into the mess of dark curls and continued his humming getting lost in the smell and feel of Tony. The warmth of his body pressed against Steve’s made his heart leap with anticipation and under the soap was a lingering scent of hot metal and he found he couldn’t get enough of it. He pulled Tony’s hand up and around his neck and slid his arm around the slender man’s waist to pull him closer. The brunette let out a sigh as he settled against Steve’s chest. Then something happened that nearly made Steve’s heart flat out stop, a pair of soft lips brushed against the skin of his throat in a small kiss. They came to a stop as the song the blonde was humming got caught in his throat. Tony lifted his head and gazed into the blue of Steve’s eyes, he felt captive in place and he couldn’t think of any other place he would want to be than right here with this beautiful man and his chocolate brown irises. He felt himself began to lean down to get a taste of Tony’s mouth when a blaring horn caused him to whip his head around in time to see a pair of head lights coming down the road.

“Go!” Steve shouted as he nudged Tony towards the sidewalk.

Together the couple ran to the side of the road as the car passed, cursing at them before moving on. Steve sighed in disappointment at the moment being ruined and turned to apologize when he saw Tony laughing giddily against the light post. His face was beginning to turn red and his eyes were dancing in happiness.

“What? Why are you laughing?” Steve asked, dumbfounded.

Tony opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by more giggles.

“What is it?”

“That was great!” Tony shouted out between peals of laughter. “You should’ve seen your face!”

Steve watched as Tony dissolved into more fits and couldn’t help but chuckle with him. Tony’s laugh was like water to a dehydrated man, he couldn’t get enough of it no matter what the cause was. He walked up to the brunette and caught him in his arms in a hug that Tony willingly became a part of. After a minute, the smaller man’s laughter faded but a wide grin stayed on his face and Steve found himself leaning in again. He paused, waiting for Tony to make the decision and he wasn’t disappointed. The brunette stretched up and brushed his mouth with soft lips in a chaste kiss. Steve tightened his arms around the man and deepened it, taking it from a slight slide of lips to little nips before sending a probing tongue to explore the other’s mouth.

They stood there for what could have been days, just exploring one another, before Tony pulled back, slightly out of breath and his genuine smile on kiss bruised lips. Steve smiled as he stepped back and lead Tony down the street.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Steve whispered as he laid an arm around slender shoulders.

 

* * *

 

New York Present

“For the rest of the summer, the pair were nearly inseparable, it was difficult to find one without the other, not worried about the fact that they came from completely different parts of the city. Steve was from the lower class and didn’t have two pennies to rub together. He worked hard to help his mother with the bills and the only thing he had to his name was the motorcycle his dad had left him before going away to the Great War. Tony came from money and a from a city of opportunity. He wanted to change the world. They got in fights like every other couple, just more often. They would scream and yell at each other for hours but one thing remained the same. They always came back to each other.” Captain’s glasses started to slide down his nose. He paused to push them in place and glanced up to see his captive audience.

“I like this story,” the other man stated. “Do they fall in love?”

The Captain smiled and nodded. “Yes, they do. They fall in love.”

“Cap?” A nurse placed her hands on the Captains shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. “The doctor is ready for you.”

“But I want to hear more of the story!” The other man protested with a pleading look at the nurse. The Captain smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll read some more when I get back.” He stood and followed the nurse out of the recreation room and down the hall to the other side of the wing for his checkup. The nurse opened a door to an open exam room and smiled at him.

“He’ll be here soon, Captain.”

Captain knew the drill at this point, he pulled off his shirt and carefully climbed onto the examination table where he sat patiently. The door opened a few minutes later and a young man wearing a lab coat walked in with a clipboard under his arm. Captain frowned.

“Where’s my doctor?” he asked.

“I’m new,” the young man replied. “I haven’t met you yet so I thought we’d get to know one another over a checkup.”

The captain shrugged and nodded. “Whatever you say, doc.”

They ran through the simple tests and the doctor listened to his heart and lungs and gauged his blood pressure. Five minutes passed and the exam was over.

“Alright you can put your shirt on.” The young man scribbled some notes on his clip board as he took a seat on the stool in the room. He looked at Captains straight in the eye. “I understand it you had to heart attacks?”

“Yep.” The captains responded automatically. “Although I wouldn’t say two since one of them were categorized as an ‘episode.’” The doctor chuckled.

“Any problems since the last one?”

“No.”

“Are you taking medication?”

“Yep, two cocktails every day.”

“Good, good.” The doctor wrote down some more notes before he asked his next question. “As I understand it, you read to Mr. Stark?”

“Yes.”

“Now, I know I probably don’t need to say this, but dementia isn’t reversible…”

“My Tony is in there, doc.” The captain interrupted. “I read him the same story, over and over again and he always comes back to me.”

“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up.” The doctor said softly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be perfectly fine.” The captain smiled. “Am I in the clear?”

The doctor stared at him for a long while and nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.”

The captain hopped off the table and buttoned up his shirt as he headed back down the recreation room where his beloved was waiting to hear more about Steve and Tony.


	2. The Ending

New York 1939

After one of their dates, Steve drove Tony home on his motorcycle. Tony whooped and hollered the entire ride and he would occasionally squeeze Steve around the middle. When they pulled up to the town home that Tony and his folks were staying in for the summer, they dismounted. They kissed goodbye for a few minutes before Tony pulled away with a coy grin.

“I have to go.” Tony whispered.

“No.” Steve protested as he grabbed at Tony’s hands as the brunette pulled away.

“Yes, I do.” Tony laughed and gave Steve one last lingering kiss before he ran up the steps. He heard Steve start his bike before he drove off down the street as Tony made a bee-line for the front door. It was late and if his parents caught him out with Steve…

“Tony.” A deep voice called from the foyer. Tony froze for a brief moment before he shut the front door. He turned and faced Howard Stark. He was wearing a silk pajama set under his robe and loafers on his feet. Must have been doing work in the shop.

“Dad!” Tony greeted with surprise. “You scared me.”

“Getting a little friendly with that boy, don’t you think?” Howard said as he studied his son. Despite what Tony and the world may think, he cared deeply about his son and only wanted what was best for him. If it came across as cold and unyielding, so be it. As long as his baby boy came out on top of the world.

“Dad, come on.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Bring him to the brunch this weekend,” Howard offered. “I want to meet this boy.”

“Of course,” Tony tried to hide the smile from his father. He knew he complained about Howard to anyone that would listen, but he still loved his dad and sought his approval. “Good night, Dad.”

               

It took Tony all week to convince Steve to join his family for brunch in Manhattan. He didn’t want to parade around as something he wasn’t, but Tony assured him that he expected him to be no one besides Steve. So, on Saturday, Steve pulled on his Sunday best and drove down to the restaurant to meet everyone. There were several cars lining the street out front and he barely had enough room to wedge his bike, Tony was waiting for him by the door and he waited patiently for Steve to put down the kickstand to hold the bike’s weight and turn around before he launched himself at his boyfriend. Steve caught him easily before leaning down for a kiss.

“Hello to you, too.” Steve laughed when they separated.

“Come inside, everyone is excited to meet you!”

Tony pulled him past the maitre’d and towards the back where several tables had been pushed together to accommodate the large party. Quick introductions were made and they all settled in at the table to order. Tony’s dad, Howard, sat at the head of the table with his colleagues and business friends on either side and Tony’s mother, Maria, at the other end. Tony sat at his mother’s left-hand side and Steve next to Tony with their knees pressed together. The meal went without a hitch and Howard regaled everyone with start-up stories and a few company jokes that had the rest of the table laughing but most went over Steve’s head. Once the plates had been cleared, Howard looked at Steve.

“So, Steven,” he began, “what is it that you do?”

“I work down at the docks in Brooklyn.” Steve responded, a quiet murmur traveled around the table as the business men and their families looked at each other. “I mainly just move boxes and crates all day.”

“Interesting.” Howard noted with a nod.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” a young man sitting near Howard leaned over the table to look at Steve, “how much do you make?”

“You’re asking what I get paid?” Steve clarified. The man nodded. “Uh, about thirty-five cents an hour.” The murmur from before returned, but louder as these folks tried to imagine only making pennies on the hour.

Maria smiled cordially at him. “You two have been spending quite a lot of time together. Is this serious?” She watched them closely as Steve turned to face he, Tony nodded in answer to his mother’s question, his mouth full with the remains of his muffin. He was briefly reminded of the time he watched an alley cat kill a mouse in the alley by near his house. He got the distinct impression that he was about to become a mouse to this woman. “Summer is almost over,” she stated calmly, “do you know what you’re going to do in the fall?”

“Maria, don’t interrogate the boy.” Howard cut in, leveling a look at his wife.

“I’m merely curious, Howard.” She said, never once letting her eyes leave Steve’s.

“Well, MIT is only a few hours away, I figure we can make it work.” Steve smiled at Tony.

“Tony will be attending Stanford near San Francisco.” Maria said excitedly, she smiled proudly at her son before looking at Steve again. “That’s in California.”

“I didn’t know that.” Steve glanced at Tony, who was studiously trying to avoid eye contact with anyone at the table.

“I just got the letter,” Tony said quietly. “I was going to tell you after brunch.”

Maria leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smile on her face. Steve may not be rich or going to a fancy school, but he knew when he was being played and Maria Stark definitely knew how to pull the strings in her son’s life. If he was any less of a gentleman that his mom tried to raise, Steve would’ve taken Tony’s hand and declared how long-distance relationships, if it were true love, had a tendency of working out, but at the moment he was stunned that Tony didn’t tell him that he’d be going to school across the damn country.

 

Later, after the brunch party went on their separate ways, Tony cornered Steve at his motorcycle and hugged him tightly. Maria and Howard watched from the window inside the restaurant as Steve smiled and laughed at something their son whispered in his ear. The blonde grabbed the helmet sitting on the handlebar of the bike and pushed it on Tony’s head with a grin.

“Look at them, Howard.” Maria said in slight disgust. “He’s going to throw away his future for that boy.”

“They’re in love,” Howard defended the young couple as they watched their son mount the bike and hugged his boyfriend around the waist.

“They’re being reckless.”

Maria frown deepened when the couple pulled away from the sidewalk and merged with the Saturday afternoon traffic. She was going to save her son, even if it was the last thing she ever did. That boy is going to break Tony’s heart and she will not stand for it.

 

Tony and Steve rode around the city for a little bit, just enjoying the closeness of each other and the feeling of freedom as the wind whipped around them. Every now and then, Steve would take a turn a little fast or weaved around traffic or gunned it from a full stop just to feel Tony’s arms squeeze him tighter and nuzzle closer. It was pathetic and sappy, but it made the blonde smile at the thought of Tony trusting him to keep him safe.

 After they rounded a couple of blocks, Steve called out over his shoulder. “Can I show you something?”

He felt Tony nod against his back and he took off down a side street before merging on the road that led out of the city and sped toward a property his dad had shown him when he was younger. He took a deep breath when they left the city and trees began to fly past on either side of them, the sky was a bright blue and the sun beamed down on the couple. Tony leaned back with his face turned towards the sky and closed his eyes, his hands fisted in Steve’s shirt and trusting him wholly and completely. This is what true love feels like, he thought with a smile. This is what people wait their entire lives for and Tony is lucky enough to have this man in his life. He cuddled against Steve’s back and just enjoyed the ride with his eyes closed in contentment.

It was almost two hours since they left Manhattan and Tony felt the bike slow down and Steve leaned back slightly. Tony opened his eyes and was greeted by tall pines and the smell of hard oak trees, the grass on either side of the small dirt road they had turned on was long and green, the blades bowed as they rode passed before lazily bobbing in the gentle breeze. The branches formed an arch over the road creating the illusion that this place, whatever it was and where ever it was, is theirs alone and no one could touch them here. Steve glanced over his shoulder at Tony and nodded ahead of them, the trees seemingly separated and parted for them as they entered a large clearing and a large farm house sat directly in the center. The wood siding was splintering and the original paint fell in flakes, shingles were missing or waving in the wind and a couple of shutters knocked loudly against the window frames. The porch listed to one side and the roof was sagging in the center most likely due to rotting wood and termites.

It was beautiful.

The motorcycle rolled to a stop and Steve waited for Tony to dismount before swinging his leg over the bike and resting it on it’s kickstand. Tony stared in wonder at this house and imagined Steve and himself living here for all their lives, children and grandchildren playing in the grass and running around the surrounding woods.

“So, what do you think?” Steve asked.

The brunette looked at him with an eyebrow raised in skepticism. “Is this condemned?” Tony teased.

“I sure hope not. I plan to buy this place some day.” Steve placed his hands on his hips and looked at the exterior with a critical eye. “It just needs some updates here and there and it’ll be good as new.”

“You want this dump?” Tony asked in complete disbelief. Sure the house could be beautiful, but it’s a lot of money and a lot of work to put into such an old place with no meaning.

“Once I can get the money up, yeah.” Steve smiled down at the shorter man and offered his hand. “Come inside and I’ll show you why I want it.”

Tony wrapped his fingers around Steve’s and followed him up the front porch steps, laughing when they nearly lost their balance on a rickety board. The front door was hanging on its hinges and creaked loudly when pushed open, the bottom scraping against the hardwood floor. Inside it was dark and dusty, Tony coughed a few times in an effort to remove the particles from his lungs. The air smelled heavily of damp wood and possibly a few dead creatures. Tony’s nose wrinkled as he stepped over the body of a dead field mouse in the foyer. Steve pulled him into what seemed to be a parlor and stood him in the middle of the room, he placed a gentle kiss to Tony’s forehead before he moved to the windows and pulled open the heavy curtains, exposing the room to some much-needed sunlight.

The brunette smiled as he casted his gaze around the empty room. He could picture a couple of overstuffed chairs by the door that leads further into the house with an antique looking side table in-between, a love seat placed in front of the grand fire place with a soft rug and a coffee table that is perfect for cuddling on during cold winters, he could see the walls filled up with works of art and pictures of their life together. Tony spun slowly as he took in every crevice of the room, from the light wood floors and the decorative crown molding to the peeling wallpaper and the sooty fire place. He was already falling in love and he only saw a part of this house. He turned back to see Steve watching him with a dopey smile on his face and his hands tucked into his pockets.

“What do you think?” Steve asked quietly.

Tony glanced around briefly as if contemplating an answer. “I can see the appeal.”

Steve smiled. “What would you do with this place, if it was yours.”

The brunette looked up at the taller man and smiled shyly. “Well, for starters I want the house painted white with black trim.”

The blonde nodded. “White and black trim. Got it.” He smiled at Tony. “Anything else?”

“I want a shop!” Tony said as he took deliberate steps towards his boyfriend. “Some place where I can invent and design and build whatever I want, whenever I want and for as long as I want.”

Steve pulled his hands from his pockets, ready to envelop Tony in a hug as he watched the younger man get closer with each word. “And where would this shop be?”

Tony looked out the window and admired the view it framed. A small stream cut through the field on the other side of the house, and Tony could see himself working in a shop with a view just like this one. He raised a finger and pointed out the window.

“Down there.” He whispered. “So, I can have this very same view out an enormous window.”

Steve’s arms wound around Tony’s waist and he rested his head on the brunette’s shoulder. He hummed in acceptance and pressed his lips to Tony’s ear briefly before he whispered, “It’s a great view.”

From there, Steve’s lips traveled down Tony’s neck to his collar bone where the blonde nibbled at the skin. Tony leaned his head to the side to expose more of himself to his lover as he reached up and buried a hand in the blonde hair on the back of Steve’s head. He heard himself moan when Steve bit down on his pulse point.

“I love you,” Tony murmured.

“I love you.” Steve whispered.

* * *

 

 

New York: Present

“Well, you can imagine what happened next…” Captain smiled embarrassingly across the table at Tony who was staring across the lake. They had moved from inside to the table and chairs on the lawn. His brown eyes were distant and it looked to Captain that he was envisioning the story in his mind’s eye. He turned to the Captain and smirked.

“What? You’re not going to read the good part?” Tony laughed breathily.

Captain shook his head. “No, not this time.”

An excited yelp came from the building up the hill, Captain turned his head and smiled at the group of people coming towards them.

“Grandpa!!!” A young boy of seven called out as he sprinted to the Captain and launched himself into the older man’s lap.

“Hey, buddy.” Captain said as he placed a delicate kiss to the boy’s hair.

“Oh,” Tony began to look very uncomfortable. “These are your children?”

Captain nodded and he began to introduce Tony to his family.

“That’s Clint and his wife Laura they have two kids, Lila and Cooper.” Captain pointed over to the small family standing back from them, the two children shifted nervously. “And this is Mary with her husband Richard.” Mary sat next to the Captain and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. The older man jostled the young boy in his arms and said, “The little one here is their son, Peter.”

Tony smiled and said hello to them all. “You have a beautiful family.” Peter stepped out of his grandpa’s arms, walked over to Tony and gave him a big hug. Confused, Tony gently hugged the boy and looked around. “Oh, goodness. Okay.” Captain could see that it was becoming overwhelming and nodded at the nurse that accompanied his family down to the lakeside. “I must meet them often.”

Captain nodded. “At least once a week.”

“I think I should go back inside now.” Tony said shakily. “You need some time alone with your family. You can read more to me later.”

The nurse walked over and helped Tony out of his seat and together they walked back up the hill. Clint flopped down in the vacant chair and leveled a stair at his father.

“What are you doing, dad?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” Captain responded, his head tilted.

“You know what I mean.” Clint sighed and ran a hand down his face. “Pop isn’t coming back.”

Mary sighed and squeezed her father’s shoulders. “It’s time for you to come home. Pop doesn’t remember us, he doesn’t remember you.”

“Kids, I know you mean well but up in that building is my home.” Captain took a deep breath as water began to fill his eyes. “Your pop is still in there and I belong here with the love of my life.”

Mary and Clint looked at each other with grief as Captain mentally closed himself off. It had been the same thing for years, ever since Tony was admitted with dementia. He knew his kids just want what’s best for him, but right now that means spending as much time with his beloved before it was too late. Come what may.

 

* * *

 

New York: 1939

It was two weeks later that the couple said their farewells in the driveway of the Stark estate. Tony’s parents waited in the car as the brunette and Steve stood there kissing repeatedly for several minutes. The Stark’s driver honked the horn constantly, which the two love birds ignored. Tony had his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde’s neck and he held on for dear life, likewise Steve’s hand gripped his hips so tightly he was sure there were bruises. He didn’t mind though, as long as he got to feel Steve near him for a little while longer, he could put up with almost anything. They pulled apart and Steve rested his forehead against Tony’s and he stared deeply in the dark chocolate brown eyes.

“Promise me you’ll write.” Tony whispered, afraid that if he spoke too loudly the moment would be over. “Every day. You have my address, right?”

“I have it memorized.” Steve closed his eyes and soaked in the feeling of Tony in his arms. “I’ll write you every single day, and possibly twice on Sunday.”

Tony gave a watery chuckle before he placed a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek and darted away to the car. Before the blonde could blink, the younger man was in the car and it was already disappearing around the corner. Steve stood there long after Tony left, still in disbelief that he was here just a while ago, standing in Steve’s arms and tasting his lips. After standing there for half an hour, he straddled his motorcycle took off down the road and headed home to start his first letter. He kissed his mother on her cheek in greeting before he shut himself in his room. He sat at his desk and pulled out a paper and pen and began to write.

 

                “Dear Tony,

I know you just left and you haven’t reached California yet, but I couldn’t help myself, I miss you already. The days are going to drag on until I get the chance to see or hear from you again. I don’t think I have told you yet, but I read poetry to my mother every night. She says it’s because it kept me out of trouble when I was younger and sick. I just think she wanted me to become more rounded than just some dock boy. But I recall a poem of hers that she absolutely loved and I make sure to read it every night.

                Love is more thicker than forget

                More thinner than recall

                More seldom than a wave is wet

                More frequent than to fail

                It is most mad and moody           

                And less is shall unbe

                Than all the sea which only

                Is deeper than the sea

                Love is less always than to win

                Less never than alive

                Less bigger than the least begin

                Less littler than forgive

                It is most sane and sunly

                And more it cannot die

                Than all the sky which only

                Is higher than the sky

It’s a poem by E.E. Cummings and recently it has become my favorite as well. I hope you’re doing okay on the west coast. I love you, Tony.

Steve”

 

And true to his word, Steve wrote a letter every day. He’d write about Bucky and Natasha, he’d write about his work, he’d write about the poems he read to his mother. Anything he could think of, he put on paper. He also sent sketches he’d done of locals, landscapes and few of Tony done by memory. A year went on with constant scribbles and numerous crumpled papers littered around his room but Steve never received a letter. He told himself if he didn’t receive a reply on his final letter, he would let Tony go and live his life. Steve would always love him, and some times you had to let go of the things you love, no matter how much it hurt.

Weeks went by and Steve’s mood took a turn for the worse. Bucky tried pulling him to go do something with friends or just the two of them with little success. On the rare occasions that he did manage to drag Steve out of the house, he was solemn and kept his head down. He didn’t get into any fights or banter with Bucky like he used to.

Then, the war came. Bucky noticed Steve’s demeanor begin to change. He stood a little straighter and his head was raised a little higher, the look in his eyes held fierce determination. Bucky had already signed up for the war a few months back, not wanting his friend to have any more reason to be upset he never told Steve, but his orders came in yesterday and he was due to ship out in two days. It was after work one day when Bucky broke the news.

“Hey, Stevie,” he caught his friends shoulder on the sidewalk just outside the gates to the dock. “I got something I need to tell you.”

“You got your orders?” Steve asked.

“Well—yeah, how’d…?”

“You ain’t good at keeping secrets, Buck.” Steve smiled. “That’s great. You’ll be over there fighting for the country.”

“You make it sound glamorous.” Bucky laughed as they continued down the sidewalk again.

“Anything beats sitting here and doing nothing.” Steve kicked a rock a few feet ahead and shoved his hands in his pockets. A sure sign of a down mood if Bucky ever saw one.

“Who says you have to stay over here?” Bucky asked, and he knew he will later kick himself for convincing his best friend to join the army. “They’re drafting everybody these days.”

Steve glanced up. “You really think I should sign up?”

“I just want you to do something besides work and sleep.” Bucky sighed and looked at the sky. “Who knows, you may even just get to travel on the government’s dime. Get to see the world.”

A week later found Steve at a recruitment office waiting for his physical. He had thought about what Bucky had told him and he knew that he couldn’t live with himself if he stayed stateside while men are overseas dying for freedom. His name was finally called and he stepped back where they weighed and measured him before sending him into a curtained off chair and table. He sat down and waited for a physician to enter. He looked around the small area and noticed pamphlets about certain diseases and how to maintain a better weight for men sitting on the table to his left. He began to read through a few that caught his attention just as the curtain opened. The physician was looking at his clipboard and never once looked up.

“Mr. Rogers.” The doctor drawled.

“That’s me.”

“Alright. We’re just going to do a few basic tests and I’ll ask you a few questions and then we’ll go from there.”

The doctor stepped up close to him and began the series of tests. It started out simple enough, blood pressure, eyesight, hearing, heart rhythm and his breathing. Afterwards the doctor shuffled him out of the curtained off examination room to the only x-ray in the building to get a better look at his lungs and then his reflexes were tested back in his seat. After thirty minutes, the doctor began to fire off quick questions about past familial health conditions, current risks and his daily habits. At the end of the examination the doctor ripped off a sheet of paper from his clipboard and handed it to Steve.

“Take this to the front table and give it to one of the girls there. She’ll give you more information.”

Steve nodded his thanks and pulled his clothes back on before he left the makeshift exam rooms. He handed his paper to a beautiful blonde in a nurse’s uniform. She smiled brightly at him, their fingers brushed as she took his form and scanned through it quickly. She grabbed a stamp to her right, dabbed it on the ink pad and slammed it on the paper. She handed it back to him with a sweet smile.

“Congratulations, Steve Rogers. You’re now in the army. You’ll receive a letter within seven days with your ship-out orders.” She quickly wrote on a spare bit of paper and handed it to him as well. “Give me a call before then, okay soldier?”

Steve blushed. He glanced down and saw a phone number written underneath the name Rachel in elegant cursive. He shoved it in his front pocket, nodded at Rachel and walked out the front door. He knew he was being ridiculous, it’s been a year since he last saw Tony and he hadn’t heard from him since the day he left so there is nothing wrong with enjoying another’s company before he ships out. Right?

Steve’s mind was onboard with the plan, but his heart was dead set against it. He tossed the note in the nearest trash can and continued his way home to give his mother the news. Steve knew she would worry about him but she will also be very proud of him. Of course, a few tears left her eyes when he told her that he’d been accepted into the draft, she pulled him in tight for a hug and told him that he was to come home in one piece or he’ll have to deal with her. Steve laughed and placed a placating kiss to her cheek.

“I’ll be careful, ma.” He hugged her again. “You can be sure of that.”

His mother pulled away from him and dabbed her eyes. “Now, you go write that good for nothing friend of yours that you’ll be seeing him over there soon. Can’t believe he talked you into joining the army. What was that boy thinking?!”

Steve knew his mother was teasing, she always called Bucky a scoundrel and he preened at her words. He left her mumbling in the kitchen and quickly wrote out a letter to Bucky. After he placed the stamp on the envelope, he debated about writing another letter. He wondered if Tony had received any of his previous letters or if the address was just a fake. There was no telling which he wanted to believe, the part where Tony decided he was done with him and ignored his letters or the part where Tony never wanted anything more than a summer romance and gave him a fraud mailing address. Either one seemed to depress him even more. He pushed away from his desk with Bucky’s letter clenched in his hand and jogged down the street to put it in the mail. Just seven more days, and he was going to be serving his country…

 

Meanwhile, in California, Tony sat in his room tinkering with his machines when his mother knocked on his door. He deliberately ignored her as he mourned a love that was never meant to happen. Maria pushed open the door and watched as her son’s cheeks glistened with shed tears, it broke her heart to see him like this but she had no choice. Her boy deserved far more than that Brooklynn kid could ever give him and she had to make sure that he went on with his life, so she hid the letters that boy sent her son. She kept them in a box in the back of her closet for the day when Tony finally got over this affair.

Maria knelt beside his chair and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m very sorry, honey.” She said quietly. “It’s been months, you should go out and live your life and find someone who will be everything you ever needed and wanted.”

Tony just closed his eyes and let the tears pour out. He didn’t tell her that Steve was just that, he didn’t say that he thought Steve was going to be his forever. It would be so much easier if he could just hate the man and get over it, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t find the nerve in him to hate a man who saw just him. Not a company. Not money. Not his genius. Just him. His mother left a couple of moments later and Tony looked himself in the mirror. He promised himself never to let his parents see him grieve over a man that never really loved him and let them think he had moved on. It would be for the better, not just for them but for himself.

He attended Stanford and during his Sophomore year he was contacted by the government to put his genius to the test with the new world war designing weapons and armor for the American troops abroad. He would be based in Great Britain and away from the front lines and he wouldn’t hardly see any battles. His mom was understandably upset but his father had a proud smile as he boasted to anyone that would listen.

Overseas, Tony met and interacted with different people from different countries and he learned new languages and new ways on how to do things and he found he made some new friends. While he was over there he met an office aide by the name of Virginia “Pepper” Pots. She was a firecracker and she instantly caught his attention and his affection. They had “work dates” where Tony would tinker with new weaponry and Pepper would stitch him up afterwards, she kept him from hurting himself and he was grateful. She helped him forget about his past summer romance and he took her home. They were engaged a year after the war was over and his parents couldn’t be any happier.


	3. Or Is It?

New York: Present

"This is a lovely story." Tony remarked when Captain paused for a breath. "I think I've heard it before." Captain just looked at him patiently, waiting for the once brunette's brain to make a connection. "I do know this story, I just can't remember it." Tony turned to look at his companion. "I have heard it before, right?"

"Oh, yes." Captain nodded.

"You've read it to me before?"

Captain nodded again.

An embarrassed blush rose to Tony's cheeks. "More than once?" His lips were turned up in a shy smile.

"Yes." Captain took a deep breath. "I've this to you every day."

Tony leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "I wish I could remember how it ends.

The captain's eyes darted to the floor. Me too, he thought despairingly. When you reach the age that he has, people ask you all sorts of questions. What would you have done differently, knowing what you do now? And his answer remains the same. He would've held Tony a little longer, he would've fought a little harder, to have spent more time with him. But that wasn't the way it was meant to be. Captain didn't believe in a lot of things, but he did believe that certain things happened for a reason. There was a reason that him and Tony had to spend those years apart, he likes to tell himself it's because they weren't ready for that level of commitment or that there were things in their life they were meant to do before spending the rest of their lives together. Whatever it was, he was thankful that he got as much of Tony that he did.

So, with a brave heart and stubborn mind, Captain leaned forward and placed his hand on Tony's knee. The other man looked over, questioningly, with a grin.

Captain dreaded the time when this disease takes his Tony away from him again. He didn't know how much longer he could stand it. It was taking longer and longer to coax his love out of the darkness, and once it was there, standing and shining, it didn't last long before the shell of the man he loved returned. Captain knew what his children warned him about and he understood what his doctor told him, that one day, Tony may never come back. But he refused to give up. Because maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

"Dinner?" Tony repeated with a laugh. "It's not even noon!"

Captain smiled. His humor was returning, his husband was lingering just barely beneath the surface. He could see it. A little while longer and he could hold his Tony in his arms again.

"Yes, but I meant tonight." Tony looked unsure and his smile dimmed. "Don't worry, we can finish the story and discuss over a nice meal." The smile returned and Tony nodded. "Great. Now, back to the story." Captain turned back to the journal and skimmed the pages. "Ah, Steve returned to Brooklyn after serving in the war for three long years…"

 

* * *

 

New York: 1945

It was early in the morning when Steve climbed down from the bus, the closest stop being four blocks away from the home he grew up in. He nodded at the driver before picking up his bag and stepped out onto the sidewalk. He stood there for a moment, taking in the sights and sounds of home. He watched children playing baseball in an alley further down the street, he watched the owners of the local shops unlock their doors, he watched as men dressed in suits and ties and pants and t-shirts fill the streets. He drew in a deep breath, smelling the smoke from the factories by the river and the exhaust from the few cars. It was the smell of home. Steve hitched his GI bag over his shoulder and began the trek home.

His mom was sitting in a chair on the front stoop when Steve turned the last corner. He watched her with a smile on his face and waited for the moment she realized he was there. Her hair was greying and her soft face had some new creases, but she looked as beautiful as always. He had reached the neighbors steps when she finally looked up from the book on her lap, her eyes roamed across the street before landing on him standing at the foot of the stairs. Her eyes watered as she stood up and quickly made her way to her son. She grabbed him in a hug and started to cry softly.

"Oh, my boy! You're home!" She pulled back and looked him from head to foot. "Are you okay? No injuries? Oh, thank the Lord that you're okay!"

"Yes, ma. I'm okay." Steve smiled reassuringly at her. She seemed to accept that for the time being before she hustled him up the walk.

"Come on, now. Let's get you inside, you must be starving!" Sarah pushed him towards the living room before she started banging around in the small kitchen. Steve set his bag down by his bedroom door, he started to loosen the tie of his green uniform as he ghosted around the room. There were pictures of him on every surface. Some moments he remembered, others he did not. He smiled fondly at each frame until he came across one taken the day before Bucky shipped out. His best friend was in his greens and Steve was still dressed in his work clothes. Both boys were grinning at the camera. The smile fell as he thought of the last time he saw Bucky. Sarah watched her son as he familiarized himself with home once more. Her heart broke when she saw him pause at Bucky's smiling face. "You know, the whole neighborhood shut down when we heard the news." She said softly. "Mr. Carter, the man who owns that flower store down the block the two of you vandalized when you were thirteen," Steve snorted quietly with a brief smile, "he was in tears for two weeks. The day after Mrs. Barnes told him, he set out and painted a mural in his honor. Made every one cry for days. He did love you boys. I never knew anyone who wouldn't turn in two teenagers for breaking windows."

Steve turned to look at his mom. She was standing there staring at Bucky's picture with tears rolling down her face. He walked over and hugged her.

"All I could think about when his mama came over to tell me was 'Thank God it wasn't my son.' Does that make me horrible?"

"No, ma. Of course not." Steve hugged his mom tighter and when she pulled away she was wiping tears from her face. "Oh, look at me. Ruining your homecoming. Now, go change and get washed up for dinner. I'm making your favorite, potato soup and bread with apple pie for dessert. Now don't get all defensive," Sarah cut off her son as he opened his mouth to protest. "Everyone is so excited that you are home and they wanted to show you gratitude. So, the next time you see Mrs. Fields you can thank her for the pie." Sarah shooed her son out of the kitchen as she turned to the tall pot on the stove.

Steve smiled. He tossed his bag onto his old bed before changing out of his uniform. He couldn't believe it's been four years since the last time he was home. Almost four years to the day he was standing outside with Bucky… He shut down that train of thought. He didn't want to think about his best friend. He didn't want to think about how he lost him. Maybe one day he could talk about it, but it still felt fresh and new. He threw his shirt across the room and flopped back onto his bed and let his mind drift to a time before the war, to a time when his world revolved around two sparkling pools of brown irises. His heart ached, not a day has passed that he hasn't thought about him, about how happy they were together and wondering where it all went wrong. Why he couldn't get over a simple summer fling?

"Steve!" His mom called from the other room. "Dinner is almost ready! You better hurry up before it gets cold!"

He sighed and pushed himself up to change into comfier clothes and wash the several days of travel from his skin.

It was a month later when his mom pulled him out of the house and drove him upstate. He sat in the passenger seat staring out at the scenery when he noticed something. He sat up straighter and looked up the road. Why was she taking him here?

"Ma, what are you doing?" He asked as the driveway appeared.

She said nothing and turned down the dirt road. The house Steve had always dreamt of appeared and he slumped in his seat. Ever since that night years ago, he tried to push this house out of his mind, there were too many memories and too much hurt tied to it now.

"Here." Sarah said as she passed him a paper.

"What? What's this?" Steve stared down at it, seeing the words but unable to put them together in his head. "What did you do?"

"I know how much you wanted this property." She said softly. "Your father always talked about fixing it up and living here and raising up a family. Of course, we could never afford it and he died without seeing his dream come true. A dream that, miraculously, was passed onto you. I sold our house while you were in Europe and with your GI money, you can have the house of your dreams."

"You sold the house?" Steve asked in disbelief. "Why? Where are you going to live?"

"With you, dummy." She ruffled his hair affectionately. "I may not look like much, but I'll be here to help you every step of the way."

Steve hugged his mom in gratitude before jumping out of the car and running up to the house. His house.

The next day, he headed to Manhattan to go through the legal avenues to purchasing his property when he saw it. A head of messy brown hair darting through the crowd. Heart racing, Steve jumped off his motorcycle and raced after it around the corner where he lost it. Cursing, he strolled further down the street glancing over oblivious pedestrians, desperately searching for the head of hair he'd know anywhere. Just when he was about to give up and say is was just his mind playing tricks on him he looked in through the front window of a café and saw him. It was Tony. He smiled at the maître 'd and strolled towards a table where a beautiful redhead was sitting waiting. Tony extended an arm and pulled her towards him in a hug, he placed a kiss on her mouth before they both sat down. Steve looked away and headed back to his bike. He should've known that Tony had moved on. It was years ago.

Now, more determined than ever, Steve began remodeling the house exactly how he promised. He spent any penny he had on any supplies he needed. Sarah helped her son with the simple things. She decorated the living areas, she dusted and mopped and vacuumed. She even tuned the piano she found hiding in the parlor. It was a year after Steve returned home that his mother passed away. She had gotten ill while he was away, and it had gotten worse, he knew it was only a matter of time. But standing in front of his mom's grave, it didn't take the sting away. He finished the house later that year. He stood in front of it, proud of what he accomplished but it felt incomplete. The story spread like crazy and the New York Times had done a story about the house and him, how a man who had lost everything managed to restore a bit of history.

"Tony, stop fidgeting." Pepper scolded as she smoothed out his suit jacket. "Why are you so nervous?"

"Nervous? Me?" Tony scoffed as he buttoned his sleeves. "Have you met me? I'm never nervous." Pepper leveled a stare at her fiancé and waited him out. She learned that if she waited, he'll start rambling and she'll learn more than she ever needed to know, but that was one of the reasons why she loved him. Tony bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for the announcement. "Why, do I look nervous? I mean, we're only telling everyone that we're getting hitched, what's there to be nervous about?"

"Tony, nothing bad is going to happen." Pepper smiled. "We're telling the world that after these past few years of horrible, there is always something wonderful to look forward to."

Tony gazed at her and he couldn't help but think about how lucky he was that she was in his life. She was smart and beautiful and more than capable of handling his crazy self. But why is it that he can't get one summer and a pair of blue eyes out of his head? Every time a marriage or wedding is brought up, he can't help but think of Steve and the future he always imagined from their romance. He finds himself wondering how the blonde is doing, where he's at and if he accomplished everything he ever wished.

Lieutenant James Rhodes stepped into the room, a newspaper under his arm with an unsure look. He shuffled his feet in an effort to distract himself.

"Hey! Rhodey!" Tony called as soon as he saw his best friend. "What brings you back here? I thought you were going to announce us?"

"I am, but Tones, you might want to look at this." Rhodey sighed and handed over the newspaper.

Tony grabbed it and skimmed the top page, war time relief and growth across the nation (nothing new there), President Truman's speech translated for the meeker man and finally a Brooklyn man home from war rebuilds a historic home in upstate New York…

He froze as his eyes roamed over the picture accompanied with the article. There he stood, just the same but completely different. He had a beard now and he looked stiff. Behind him was the house that he took Tony to that summer, where they made love in the living room dreaming about the future. It was beautiful.

"He did it." Tony whispered. "The son of a bitch actually did it."

"Tony?" Rhodey questioned, trying to draw his friend out of his head.

"I have to go." Tony said as he tucked the newspaper under his arm.

"What?" Pepper asked. "Now?"

"Yeah, I need to…um." Tony's eyes darted around trying to come up with some excuse. "I need to get away for a while. Give me some room to breathe."

"Are you okay?" Pepper placed her hands on his shoulders in an attempt at comfort. In reality, it made his skin crawl. "You're not getting cold feet, are you?"

"No!" Tony said loudly. "I just…" He sighed. "I just need some time away from the city. I'll call you, okay?"

Pepper nodded as Tony fled from the room.

He jumped into his favored BMW and headed north. He had to see it for himself, he wanted to be sure that it was true and that it was his Steve that did it. Tony didn't know what he would do once he got there, but he knew he had to go. He had to see it. When he reached the driveway, the nerves in his stomach intensified. What if he wasn't welcomed? What if Steve found someone else? Why did that thought tick him off so much?

As he pulled up in front of the house, he could only stare. He stepped out of the car and took in the white walls and the black trim. Just like he said he wanted. There was a porch that wrapped around half the house, chairs and tables scattered every couple of yards. Tony turned and looked at the river, and standing there fifty feet away from the river bed was a gigantic building that wasn't there years ago. He itched to go and see if it was what he thought it was but insecurity glued his feet to the ground. He would be stupid to think that Steve built him a shop after being apart for years. The sound of a screen door slamming shut brought his attention back to the porch and his breathe caught in his throat.

There, standing in pants and a dirty button up shirt, was Steve. His beard and shaggy hair was new, but to Tony he never looked better. The brunette made his way around the car and towards the front steps carefully.

"Steve, hi." He said lamely. The blonde just stared at him with his head tilted to one side, so Tony did what Tony does when he's nervous and it's quiet. He rambled. "I saw your picture in the paper and I had to come and see for myself." He shifted his focus to the house. "It's beautiful." Steve remained quiet and Tony couldn't stand still. "I can't believe you actually did it. Not that I didn't think you could, I never doubted that. It's just you did it the way we talked about, which is surprising."

"I promised you I would." Steve said quietly.

Suddenly, Tony felt uncomfortable. He was itching to get away, from Steve or the house Tony didn't know but he had to leave.

"I'm so fucking stupid." Tony said as he started to back up to his car. "I don't know why I even came here."

Steve leapt off the porch and chased him towards his car. "Tony, wait."

"Steve, I think it's best that I just go." Tony said as he started the car and slammed his foot on the gas, he was panicking and he realized a second too late that the car was headed towards a fence. He pressed both feet to the brake but not before he crashed into it. He gripped the wheel, panting in adrenaline and panic as he waited for the yelling and the screaming. Tony heard Steve's footsteps on the gravel drive as he approached the window.

"Want to come inside?" Steve asked quietly.

Tony nodded shakily. "Yeah."

Steve opened his car door and Tony slowly stepped out. The blonde backed away so Tony could have enough space to move without getting too close him, Steve didn't want to push his luck more than it would allow him. Steve led Tony up to the porch and through the front door, he hesitated and glanced back at the brunette who was busy admiring the exposed beams supporting the roof over the porch. He smiled and pushed the heavy wooden door wide and allowed Tony to enter ahead of him.

Tony wasn't sure what he was expecting exactly, whether he thought it'd be exactly the same just cleaner or something completely different. What he wasn't expecting was something in-between. The stairs leading to the second story were different then before, the rails and posts were made from what looked like sanded tree branches, giving the foyer a cabin-like feel. The wood floors were stained a warm honey color with a decorative runner carefully placed in the center. Tony was proud to note that the dead mouse was no longer present.

"Where did Mickey's late cousin go?" Tony asked with a sly grin.

Steve chuckled, shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced around the room. "Ma decided that he deserved a real resting place." Steve's eyes misted talking about his mom. "He's buried under the tree down by the river."

Tony laughed. "How is Sarah?" he asked as he ran a finger along the wall. "How's she doing?"

A pause filled the atmosphere and Tony could swear he felt it choking him. He turned and saw Steve standing there in the doorway, shoulders slumped and head bowed. A feeling of dread coursed its way through Tony's stomach as he imagined what had happened to the sweet lady.

"She's uh…" Steve sniffed and tried to discreetly brush the tears from his face. "She passed away last year."

Tony swallowed thickly, he couldn't imagine losing his parents within the same decade. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe me and my stupid mouth." Tony walked closer to the heartbroken blonde, unsure of how to comfort him. "What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"Pneumonia." Steve answered gazing sorrowfully at Tony. "She contracted it while I was off fighting a war and she never really recovered from it."

"Oh, Steve." His hands hovered over the muscular chest, wanting so badly to touch and hold and comfort. But that wasn't Tony's place anymore. His hands fell to his sides and he desperately floundered for something to take his mind off of his dead mother. "What about Bucky? I haven't heard about him in years. Natasha refused to talk about him before she went off to some foreign school…." Tony trailed off when he saw Steve sink down to the floor. He kicked himself for bringing up another bad topic. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"It's okay, Tony." Steve rubbed his forehead and leaned against the nearest wall, Tony followed him. "He died a year or so before the war ended. He shipped out practically six months before me but things over there got bad fast. Our squadrons were in rough shape after storming the beaches so we kind of fashioned one. We were headed towards Berlin to find any command stations or anyone from our side when an air strike came out of nowhere. Everyone scattered. It took us a month to locate and bury everyone."

"Steve, you don't have to talk about it." Tony whispered and grabbed Steve's hand. "It's okay to keep somethings to yourself."

"I've been keeping it bottled up for two years, Tone." Steve looked up into those brown eyes and he felt himself falling all over again. "I need to talk about it or it's going to eat me up."

"Okay." Tony stood up and offered a hand to the tall blonde. "Come on, lets get some tea and sit outside and talk. It's a nice day."

Steve nodded and allowed himself to be pulled from the floor. Ten minutes later found themselves sitting in the chairs that Steve crafted himself sipping tea and just talking. About anything and everything and nothing all at the same time. Steve told Tony about his adventures on the front lines and all that he did to the house, he told him about how his mom helped him with everything she had. He even told him about a few flings he's had in the past eight years. Tony responded in kind, he talked about college and his work in England developing strategies and weaponry to keep soldiers safe, he talked about how he met Pepper and how they are engaged. Steve's heart sank at the news, but he reminded himself that it was probably better this way. Before they knew it, the sun had begun to set and the crickets started to sing. Tony sighed wistfully and stood up.

"Well, I should head back." He hugged his arms to his body as the evening chill crept through his shirt. "I'm staying in a hotel in a town just a few miles down the highway. I figured we could catch up and get to know one another again."

Steve stood and stretched. "You're coming back tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah, if you want me to." Tony showed a shy smile, a smile that Steve hasn't seen in years.

"Alright. I want to show you something anyway." Steve grinned knowingly at the brunette's look of surprise.

"Steven Grant Rogers!" Tony exclaimed jokingly. "You haven't changed one bit!"

"I wasn't talking about that." Steve rolled his eyes. "There is something on this property that I think you'd like to see, that's all."

"Doesn't exactly make me feel any safer." Tony teased.

"God, Tony." Steve took a breath. "Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are." Tony said with a tilt of his head that had Steve chuckling. "But yes. I will be back tomorrow to see this really neat thing."

Steve laughed as Tony descended the steps and headed towards his car. The blonde leaned against a pillar and watched as Tony's car headed down the driveway and out of sight.

Tony pulled into the little roadside inn and headed straight for his room, the phone was ringing before he even unlocked the door. He bounded over to the phone and picked up.

"Hello?" He asked cheerfully.

"Wow, you're in a good mood." Pepper noted from the other end. "Upstate New York must be doing wonders for your nerves."

"Yes, well I ran into an old friend and we were catching up." Tony said as he flopped backwards on the bed. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, I just called to check on you earlier and I didn't get an answer." Pepper's voice was laced with concern. "I worried, is all."

"I'm fine, Pep. Scout's honor."

"I would believe that if you were actually a scout at some point in your life." Pepper laughed. "Okay, if you're okay I guess I'll let you rest."

"I love you, Miss Pots."

"I love you, Mr. Stark."

The line went dead and Tony couldn't help but feel guilty, which was ridiculous. What did have to be guilty about? Sure, Steve was an old flame, but they were just talking and catching up. It's not like that's a sin, talking to your ex. Whatever, Tony wasn't breaking any rules and he had no reason to feel bad about wanting to see Steve again.

Back at the house, Steve was lying in bed with a grin on his face. He saw Tony again. It was almost like before, laughing and joking and talking. He had been sure that it would be awkward and stilted but it was thrilling to be like that with someone again. Steve was vibrating with excitement to see Tony again the next day, even if it was just for an hour, he had something to look forward to again. It had been so long since he had felt that way that he didn't want it to disappear. He didn't want to get too used to seeing Tony only to have the brunette whisked away and out of his life forever. But maybe this time, he could get to say a proper good-bye before that happened. Give himself some closure.

The next morning, Tony's car rolled up the driveway and Steve couldn't stop his smile. The met at the back of the vehicle and Steve led the way down to the river bed. Tony noticed there was a row boat tied up to a dock he never noticed before. The wood was solid and it looked freshly painted, he wondered if Steve built this along with the out building. The blonde gestured towards the row boat and offered a hand for Tony to steady himself with as he stepped into it. A few minutes later and they were heading down the river. Tony looked at the scenery around him, trees stretching to the sky and sunlight peeking through the leaves and dancing off the water. Steve stared at him the entire time, gently rowing them with the oars. He couldn't help himself, the look of awe was painted all over Tony's face and he wanted to memorize it and sketch it out later. It had been years since he had touched a pen and paper for something other than blueprints and army contracts.

The trees started to thicken and the river began to narrow the further down they went, and in the distance, Tony could just make out a whole lot of something moving around on the surface. As they drew closer, Tony could see that the 'whole lot of something' was a flock of geese swimming around. Tony's jaw dropped at the sheer number of them, there had to be hundreds.

"What are they all doing here?" Tony asked as Steve sat up straight and brought the oars into the boat.

"I don't know," he responded as he looked around at the birds. "They just show up."

"Do they stay here?" Tony looked around, wondering if he could find any nests.

"No," Steve answered solemnly. "Eventually they'll all go back to where they come from."

Tony looked at him understandingly, he understood what Steve was saying. That no matter how much they may wish it otherwise, Tony must go home at some point.

"We should head back." Steve said staring at the patch of sky that was just visible through the trees.

"Steve!" Tony complained. "We just got here."

"Yeah, but it looks like it's going to rain." He dipped the oars back in the river and began to row with gusto back up the river. Thunder clapped and both looked up to see the dark clouds rolling in. Steve cursed under his breath and rowed harder. They made it out of the tight grove and Tony could see the house when the sky opened up. Rain beat on their backs and Steve braced himself to hear Tony berate him about ruining his expensive clothing, even though Steve knew without a doubt Tony doesn't hesitate to get grease and oil on brand new suits. He was surprised to hear hooting and laughter from the back of the boat and looked up to see Tony sitting with his arms spread out and face turned upwards, letting the water run down his face. Steve couldn't stop the laugh that pushed its way past his lips. Tony looked at him with a crazed grin, the same grin that let Steve know that trouble was brewing. The brunette stood in the boat and his grin widened.

"Tony, what are you doing?" Steve asked, his smile fading. "Sit back down or you're going to fall in."

Tony's response was to pull his shirt over his head and tossed it at Steve's face. The wet material clung for a moment before falling to the bottom of the boat with a wet plop. When the blonde focused on Tony again the young man had his pants around his ankles and was pulling his shoes off.

"Tony, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Steve protested. "Put your clothes on before you catch a cold!"

Tony smiled at him, standing in just his boxers. "Come on, Steve. Live a little."

The brunette stepped onto his seat before he dived into the river. Steve waited for Tony's head to pop about the water before he rowed over to him. Tony was laughing and hollering and Steve couldn't stop his grin even if he wanted to. This man was going to be the death of him.

"Jump in, Stevie!" Tony shouted about the rain pelting the river. "The water is lovely!"

"If I jump in there I'll be as crazy as you." Steve answered with a roll of his eyes. "And don't call me Stevie."

"What else am I supposed to call you, Stevie?" Tony pushed with a teasing smile.

"Tony, seriously. Stop."

"But Stevie, it's such a nice name."

"I said stop."

"Make me, Stevie."

"Don't think I will."

"Stevie, Stevie, Stevie!" Tony taunted. Steve quickly stripped and launched himself into the water, when he resurfaced Tony was less than a foot away from him with a winning smile on that beautiful face of his. "I knew that would work."

Steve reached out and pushed Tony underwater. He back stroked to the row boat, latched onto the docking rope and pulled it the rest of the way to shore. Tony was a little ahead of him and helped heave the boat onto dry land. He grabbed his and Tony's clothes from the bottom of the boat before sprinting for the front porch. Tony was laughing the entire time and waited for him at the top of the steps. Steve shoved his clothes at Tony and wrung out his soaking pants.

"Why didn't you write me?" Tony asked quietly. Steve's head whipped around to stare at Tony.

"What?"

"You promised you were going to write me, but you never did." Tony felt the past hurt and anger engulf him and before he knew it he was shouting over the rain. "Then you do this? It wasn't over for me! And apparently it wasn't over for you either! So why didn't you ever write?"

"Christ, Tony." Steve twisted his pants so hard that he was sure that he tore a thread or two. "I wrote you a letter every day for a year!"

"W-what?"

"From the day you left, I sat in my room every day and wrote you a letter. Every single goddammed day."

Tony stood there, floored and shocked. If what Steve said was true, then what happened to those letters? He had a sneaking suspicion on who would meddle in his life like that, but without her here, he couldn't confront her about it.

"You… you wrote me?"

"Of course, I did, Tony!" Steve shouted. Tony flinched when the blonde threw his wadded pants to the floor. "It wasn't over for me either, Tones! But I couldn't just sit around and wait forever, you know? I knew you must have moved on with your life so I did the same. But seeing you again? Here? I know that it's still not over between us."

"What do you mean?" Tony asked brokenly. He didn't want this to happen, he didn't want a reason to feel guilty tonight when Pepper called. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I love you, Tony." Steve let his hands hang by his sides and his head lowered a tad. He stood there waiting for some kind of response. A slap, a sigh, a shout or even Tony getting in his car to leave. But none of those happened. Tony carefully stepped closer and hesitantly placed his hands onto Steve's bare chest. He pushed himself closer and shuddered at the warm skin pressed against his.

"I love you, Steve." Tony whispered. He slid his arms around Steve's neck and pulled him down for a kiss.


	4. Come Back

New York: 1945

Steve and Tony fell through the front door together, lips glued to each other's skin and hands wandering over backs. Steve kicked the door shut and hefted Tony into his arms, the brunette let out a small laugh before diving back to Steve's mouth. Carefully supporting the small man, Steve slowly climbed the stairs and carried him down the hall to his bedroom. When he felt his knees touch the comforter he dropped Tony onto the mattress with a squeal from the younger man. Tony made grabby hands at Steve and together they shuffled up to the head of the bed where Steve covered Tony's body with his own.

"Tell me again," Tony begged as Steve kissed his neck and collar bone. "Tell me you love me again."

Steve pulled back and stared Tony straight in the eyes and without a single doubt in his brain he complied. "I love you, Tony."

The brunette shivered as the words brushed across his skin, his back arched when Steve's hand skimmed his side before falling below their waists…

 

* * *

 

New York: Present

"Why do you always do that?" Tony grumbled at Captain. The elderly couple were sitting on the front porch in rickety rocking chairs watching as the sun lowered in the sky. "You always stop before the fun parts."

Captain laughed. "I'm getting a little chilled, would you like to go inside?"

Tony nodded and together the pair clamored inside the building and they carefully made their way to a small and secluded parlor. The table was dressed up in a white cloth, a vase of flowers stood proudly in the center flanked by two lit candles. Two pates were placed with care surrounded by forks and spoons and knives and wine glasses. Tony smiled in surprise.

"Who did this?" He asked as he walked over to the table.

"I did," Captain admitted with a faint blush. Even after all these years he managed to still be timid around his love. "With the help of the nursing staff."

Tony moved towards the windows and stared out at the horizon as the sun finally fell behind the trees. "It's so beautiful." He muttered.

Captain stared at Tony for several moments before responding. "Yes, it is." Tony turned and grinned at him before directing his attention to the mean.

"Now, if I remember correctly, you told me we'd finish the story over dinner." Captain nodded and pulled out Tony's chair before shuffling around to his own. Once he was fully seated Tony took a closer look at the table. Sitting next to the plate in front of Captain was a pill holder. "Wow, so many pills. How sick are you?"

"The doctors are just overreacting." Captains poured grape juice in both wine glasses before swallowing his medications. "I've had a couple of heart attacks recently and their worried about me. I probably don't even need half of these."

Tony smiled. "Now, what happens with Steve and Tony?"

Captain stared at him in wonder before pulling the journal out of his vest pocket. "You were always so impatient. I didn't even get a chance to take a bite before you start demanding stories."

Tony laughed and sat in rapt attention as Captain continued his story.

 

* * *

 

New York: 1945

The next morning, Tony stretched and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He was in an unfamiliar room that wasn't the inn he was supposed to be staying at. He looked over to the window and he saw the sun peeking over the tree tops and a smile graced his face as he remembered the day before. How Steve and himself kept themselves busy the rest of the day and most of the night. He had never felt so cherished or wanted. He turned his head to face the door to the bedroom and his sight was interrupted by a couple of daisies sitting on the pillow. He smiled as he reached out and grabbed them. Ever the gentleman, Steve was. Tony sat up in bed and listened for the blonde somewhere in the house, when nothing but silence remained Tony began to look around. A folded note sitting on the bedside table bearing his name in a neat cursive script caught his attention. He unfolded it and read:

My love,

I couldn't stand to wake you when you looked so peaceful in your sleep. I went out to get some food but I'll return soon.

Love, Steve

PS if you feel bored, go into the garage by the river. There's a surprise for you.

Tony grinned, wrapped the blanket around himself and ran down the stairs, out of the house and down the lawn. The door was unlocked, Tony twisted the knob and pushed it open. He peeked inside and his jaw dropped. The walls were lined with toolboxes and boards to hold tools, there were desks and work tables scattered and several shelves lining along the back wall. There was a lift door that would allow for great light during the summertime and the garage was well lit for the months when it grew dark early. He immediately began to peruse through the shelves and the tool boxes, before inspiration struck and he felt the urge to tinker. And so there he was, sitting in nothing but a blanket he pulled from the bed, putting together random bits and pieces to form the design in his head.

A few hours later, the sound of a car approaching drew Tony's attention away from his little gadget. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself before peeking up towards the house, seeing a familiar BMW sitting on the driveway. He cursed before he exited the shop and closed the door. He slowly trudged up the hill to where his mother was waiting on the porch. When Maria's eyes landed on her son, disappointment screamed from her features.

"I just thought I'd let you know that Pepper is in New York." Maria said calmly. Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Your father told her all about Steve, the man could never keep his trap shut about things like this."

"Great, one big happy family." Tony muttered as he flopped down on a porch chair.

"You brought this onto yourself." Maria said sternly as she occupied the neighboring chair. "You knew what was going to happen when you came back here."

"Yeah, Mom I know. I'm a man whore. Can we talk about something else?" He ground out glaring at the ground.

"You need to accept some responsibility here, son." Maria reached over and tried to grab Tony's hand, he jerked away as if he was burned. "Alright, get up. Go put on some clothes, we're going for a drive."

"Why should I go anywhere with you?" Tony hissed.

"Because I'm your mother." Maria answered simply. "And I may know you a little better than you think."

Tony stood up and glared down at his mother. "Is it true about the letters?"

Maria sighed and leaned back into the chair. "Yes."

"I cried myself to sleep for nights on end and you did nothing? You let me feel that way?" Tony's eyes started to sting as the betrayal sat low in his stomach.

"Honey, you were going places far beyond what he could even fathom. You were destined for great things." Maria rose to her feet. "Now, Steve is nice boy and I'm sure he would've went to the ends of the Earth for you, but he wouldn't have been able to give you the things that you need. Now go get dressed and I'll explain more."

Tony hesitated a moment before realizing she wasn't leaving until he complied, so with a heavy heart he went upstairs and pulled on his clothes before leaving a brief note to Steve explaining where he went and why before heading back downstairs to his waiting mother. They piled into her car and took of back down the high way towards New York. They drove out to Queens and parked by a chain link fence, through the wire Tony could see a construction crew shoveling dirt and laying brick. What would his silver spooned mother have to do with a construction company?

Maria pointed towards one of the men shoveling dirt, he was wearing coveralls and a ball cap, rivets of sweat were breaking through the layers of dirt caked onto his face. "You see that man, right there?" Tony nodded mutely. "Twenty-five years ago, he was a looker. Of course, your grandfather didn't approve, he felt that I should focus my attention on men that would be able to take care of me the way I deserve. Well, on night we decided that we were going to elope and move far away from the pressures of society and grow old together. We didn't even make it to New Jersey before the cops caught us." She looked her son dead in the eye. "I want you to know that I do love your father. I do." Her eyes welled up and Tony felt his heart break for his mother. "He's a good man, he may be focused on one thing or another, but he's always treated me right."

"I know, Mom." Tony said weakly. There is something to be said about watching your parent break down in front of you.

"I just don't want you making my mistakes." Maria wiped her eyes and started the car.

"I won't, Mom." Tony looked over towards the man again and noticed that he was watching them. He raised a hand to wave as Maria put the car in gear and took off down the road. They drove through Midtown and Tony cursed. Sitting on the street by the Stark Industries office sat his father's car, Pepper had to be here somewhere and Tony dreaded the moment when they met. She would know what he had done without him opening his mouth.

"Uh-oh." Maria whispered and casted a warry glance at her only child. Tony shrunk down in the seat and hoped to any deity out there listening that he couldn't be seen.

The two-hour drive back to the house was spent in complete silence. Tony was going over the information his mother provided him that morning, mulling over what the right choice would be. He didn't think he could bring himself to leave Steve again, not without something inside him dying at the thought and he promised to marry Pepper. What a mess he's gotten himself into? He loved them both, what was he supposed to do?

When they pulled into the driveway, Tony wasn't any closer to an answer than he was before and he felt the panic rise in him when he saw Steve sitting on the porch waiting for him. There's no way to hide what today's events brought him. He had to tell him. Maria parked the car and pulled her son into a hug.

"You'll be okay." She whispered in his ear. Tony nodded and smiled at him mother before stepping out of her car. He didn't take five steps before she called him back again. "Tony! Wait!"

He turned and watched Maria round the car and open the hood, she reached in and pulled out a little box. She handed it to Tony and waited for the realization. He opened the lid and saw hundreds of letters stuffed neatly inside. He pulled one out and saw his name in familiar cursive.

"I'm trusting you to make the right choice." Maria said as she got behind the wheel of the car and took off for the highway.

Tony stood there until she turned out of the driveway and walked up to the porch. Steve remained in his seat, carefully watching him and his eyes landed on the box.

"I see you got my letters." Steve lifted a soda bottle to his mouth and swallowed a swig. "Finally."

"Yeah, it was an odd morning." Tony laughed humorlessly.

"Want to talk about it?" Steve offered.

Tony shook his head. "Pepper is here." Steve's face automatically shut down. Tony could practically see the walls go up.

"What are you going to do?" The blonde asked stiffly.

"I don't know." Tony collapsed onto the chair and sighed.

"You're going back to her, aren't you?" Steve accused.

"I don't know, Steve." Tony bit out, gripping the box tighter.

"You are." Steve scoffed and shot out of his chair. "You come all the way up here, make love with me and then you're going to go right back to her?"

"What the hell are you saying?" Tony glared at the blonde pacing in front of him.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. She has the one thing that I could never give you."

"And what's that, Steve?" Tony dared. He stood up and stepped in front of the blonde's war path. "What's that one thing?"

"Security." Steve growled.

"What?"

"MONEY!" The shout came from nowhere and it startled Tony back a few paces. "A marriage to her ensures your wealth!"

"Fuck you, Steve!" Tony yelled. He stormed down the steps and headed straight to his car.

"You leave, Tony and I hate you!" Steve shouted at Tony's back. "I hate you because I lost you once because of some fucked up miscommunication and I'm not going to let you go that easily again unless that is what you want. If you tell me that it's what you want, I think I could manage seeing you leave again."

Tony was shaking violently, from anger, hurt or fear he didn't know. Maybe a combination of the three. He shook his head, unable to say anything.

"What do you want, Tony?"

"It's not that simple!" The brunette argued, tears welling up in his eyes. "Because no matter what I choose, someone is going to get hurt."

"It is that simple." Steve said loudly. "Forget about what anyone else wants. Forget about what your parents want, what she wants and what I want. What. Do. You. Want?"

Tony shook his head and the tears spilled over. "I have to go."

He slid into his car and sped off down the driveway and drove down the high way. He had no clue what to do or how to figure out where to start. The tears in his eyes made it difficult to see and after several miles he pulled over and cried into the steering wheel. How was he expected to make a choice? He thought back on his mother's words hoping that something could point him in the right direction, but the only thing that came up were the letters. Sitting up, Tony grabbed the box sitting on the passenger seat and opened it. He picked one out at random, tore it open and began to read.

My dearest Tony,

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy…

 

* * *

 

New York: Present

"…and remember how we spent a summer beneath the stars, learning form each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Steve*." Captain closed the journal and set it on the table. He looked up across the way and saw Tony with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, how sad." Tony said as he blinked quickly to hold the tears back. "Tell me that wasn't goodbye forever?"

"No." Captain said watching Tony carefully for any signs of recognition.

"So? Who won?" Tony pleaded as he leaned more into the table.

Captain sat a moment, trying to decide what to say without giving away everything. He needed Tony to remember on his own. "Well, after reading the letter, Tony went back to his father's office to speak with Pepper and tell her the truth."

 

* * *

 

New York: 1945

"Are you kidding me?" Pepper shrieked as he fell back onto a chair. "I don't know whether I should call off the wedding, threaten him or just kill him." Tony waited with his head bowed, knowing he deserves every insult thrown his way. "But I can't do any of them because then I lose you." Pepper sighed and tried to control her breathing. "Okay, we can fix this. Just tell me it was a mistake and we'll pretend that this never happened."

"I wish I could, Pep." Tony said quietly, his eyes begging her to understand.

Pepper watched him for a moment before he realized what was going on. "Oh, Lord. You love him, don't you?"

"Please understand that I never meant for any of this to ever happen. And you deserve a fiancée who won't go fucking other people behind your back. I love you, Pep. I really do. And I'm really so very sorry."

"You're right." Pepper smiled. "I do deserve that. I know what I should do and what I want to do are two separate things. I love you, Tony and I want to marry you. Do you want that?"

 

* * *

 

New York: Present

"That's right." Tony said quietly, his brown eyes lighting up with memories of the past. "Of course." He looked up and met the Captain's blue eyes. "Steve."

He couldn't hold it back anymore, once Tony uttered his name Steve was out of his chair and in front of Tony in a heartbeat.

"Oh, Tones." Steve grabbed Tony's hands and placed kisses across his knuckles, tears falling down his cheeks. "Oh, my sweetheart. I've missed you."

"Steve…" Tony's face was full of confusion and fear. "What happened to me?"

"Nothing, darling. You just went away for a while." Steve stood and smiled. "But that's okay because you're here now."

"F-for how long?" Tony asked.

"I don't know, my love. Last time it didn't last more than ten minutes." Steve answered reluctantly.

"Oh."

"But don't worry." Steve pulled Tony to his feet. "I've brought along a friend."

He pulled the tape player out of his pocket and pressed play. Ozzie Nelson's Dream A Little Dream of Me floated out of the tiny speaker and he tugged Tony close to him as they began to sway to the beat. The past few days was worth the time he got to spend with his Tony, however short that time may be, dancing and holding him close. Tony let his head fall onto Steve's shoulder and he let out a small sigh. When the song dwindled into silence, Tony leaned back and smiled at Steve.

"Why don't we leave this place?" Tony suggested.

"Honey…"

"Let's hope in a car and just go." Tony's smile widened into a grin. "Have adventures like we used to again."

"Tone, I don't think that's a good idea." Steve said carefully.

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Listen, sweetheart, we have to stay here…" Steve tried to argue but Tony cut him off.

"Sweetheart?" Tony pulled his arms away from Steve's body and hastily stepped back. "Who are you? I don't know you!"

"Tony, it's me!" Steve implored, his heart breaking at the sight of his Tony leaving him once again.

"No! No! I don't know you!" Tony ran around the table and pressed himself against the window. "Get away from me! Who are you?"

"You're Tony and I'm Steve!"

"What do you want from me?" Tony looked over at the open door over Steve's shoulder. "HELP! Help me! Somebody!"

Two nurses and the young doctor from before came running into the room. They surrounded Tony and lead him to the chair at the table, his shouts and cries for help tearing into Steve's being. He backed away and sank onto the nearby sofa and cried while he watched his husband get tranquilized. The doctor looked over at him, worry and concern etched deep into such a young face, but Steve couldn't care about that. He just lost Tony it felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest.

They brought in a wheelchair and escorted Tony out of the parlor and back into his room once he was calm. Steve sat there a moment more before trudging up the stairs to his own room to wallow and mourn. On the way to his bed, he pulled a photo album from his self and the shoe box of letters from under his bed, before reclining against the headboard. He opened the photo album and allowed silent tears stain his face as he looked upon a lifetime that only he could remember. Pictures from their wedding day, of their children after they were born, family pictures at Christmas' and birthday's and Easter's, photos of their children getting married and having children of their own, anniversaries and parties and memories that only he had.

He picked up a picture of him and Tony on their wedding day, posing in front of the house on the front lawn. They were so happy then, and Steve wouldn't give anything to change their story. His eyes drifted shut and he thought about the afternoon when he learned that Tony was finally his, and only his…

 

* * *

 

New York: 1945

Steve couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Tony pull up to the house later that afternoon. The brunette grabbed his bags from the back seat and turned to see Steve standing at the bottom of the front steps, waiting. Tony dropped the bags and ran full bore towards the blond and launched himself into his arms. He rained kisses on Steve's face and cried with happiness when the feeling of belonging settled in his chest. Steve tightened his arms under Tony's legs and carried him inside, where he'll stay for the rest of their lives.

 

* * *

 

New York: Present

The attending nurse looked up at the clock and frowned when it read 8 o'clock. Normally, Mr. Rogers was awake and moving around at seven so it was odd that he was still in bed. She stood from her station and walked down the hall to Mr. Rogers' room and peeked in with a bright smile on her face.

"Mr. Rogers?" she sang softly as she approached his bed. She shook his shoulder gently. "Time to get up now." She shook him again but no reaction. "Mr. Rogers?" She placed two fingers against his neck and held her breath. Nothing. "Mr. Rogers! Help! Doctor!" She shouted out the door and turned her attention back to the man in the bed.

The bustle of doctors and nurses drew attention to the room and live-in patients tried to peer around each other to catch a glimpse of Rogers. Moments passed, quiet speculation hovered around the crowded hallway, and a gurney emerged with Rogers strapped down and an oxygen mask covering his face. Paramedics gently moved around the crowd, talking loudly and quickly into the radios clipped to their shoulders. Calls of a heart attack patient and their ETA to the nearest hospital caught the attention of Tony, who had at the time was being led into the recreation room. He stopped and looked wide eyed as a man he only knew by reputation was ushered out of the building. He turned to the nurse assisting him.

"Is that man going to be okay?" He asked quietly.

The nurse, unsure of how to answer, prodded Tony along. "Come on, let's go."

Tony continued on, occasionally looked over his shoulder at the swinging doors and prayed that the man would make it out alright.

Steve came to slowly. He was aware that he was in the hospital and that he had suffered yet another heart attack, he's had plenty he should know how the after effects feel. He blinked his eyes opened and he watched the doctor at the foot of the bed scribbling notes onto the clipboard. He waited until he was noticed before he began asking his questions.

"How bad was it this time?" Steve grumbled when the doctor finally put down the clipboard.

"Honestly, Mr. Rogers, you're lucky to be alive." The doctor leveled a loot at Steve. "I don't know how you've survived this long with that many heart attacks."

"Luck of the draw, I guess." Steve answered as he began to lever himself up into a sitting position. "When can I get out of here?"

"Mr. Rogers, you just suffered a major heart attack, you need to rest." The doctor pushed him back down onto the bed. "We'll talk about discharge when I come back to check on you."

"I'm fine, Doc." The older man glared. "Just tell me when I can go home."

The young man stood there staring at Steve, considering his options. Finally, the doctor said, "We're keeping you overnight at the very least. I want to make sure that another episode won't be right around the corner or that there aren't any complications from this last one." Steve let out a long-suffering sigh. The doctor smiled and patted the older man's knee. "Relax, sleep, we'll talk more later."

Steve did as the doctor ordered and when he awoke the second time, his doctor was waiting in the chair next to the bed reading a book. He looked up as Steve started moving and as soon as his blue eyes were visible and trained on him, the younger man started speaking.

"Well, I got good news and bad news. I'll tell you the good first and start it off happy. So, no lingering side effects to your most recent attack, happy news. We went through your counts and everything is coming back as normal, so by my guess this last one was caused by too much stress. You're supposed to take it easy when you get older. Didn't anyone ever tell you that?" The doctor's words were flying by, and only the years' experience he had with Tony managed to keep it all from flying over his head. In fact, this doctor looked a lot like when Tony was younger. Fluffy brown hair, bright chocolatey eyes and a sarcastic tone in every word. His heart hurt as he remembered that Tony won't recognize him, that he may not get another chance to hold his love in his arms again. The doctor continued in a softer tone. "Now, on to my least favorite part: the bad news. This was your third attack. As your doctor, I'm telling you that you need to take it easy. There's no telling if you'll come back again if you have another. I'm prescribing healthy food and light exercise in the form of leafy greens and golf. I'm serious Mr. Rogers. I don't want to see you in my ward again. Now, as a slightly less formal but nonetheless concerned acquaintance, my advice? You're over ninety and the likely hood of sustaining a fourth attack is enormously high. Go have fun. Do what you always wanted to do but never had the time or the money or the ability. Just no sky diving."

Steve smiled briefly. "Thanks, doc."

"Not a problem." The doctor stood and made his way to the door. "You are being discharged in about an hour and your family is coming to pick you up. Live your life, Mr. Rogers." The doctor smiled and briskly swept out of the room.

Steve laid there waiting for his kids to arrive and thought about the doctor's words. The only thing he wants is to see Tony. To talk to him and laugh with him, just once more. Even if losing him again would be the death of him, quiet literally according to health professionals, he can't miss out on the chance to say 'I love you' to his husband and to hear it repeated back to him in earnest. He resolved himself as Clint and Laura loaded him into their van and drove him back to the nursing home, he would see Tony first chance he got.

Of course, when his kids dropped him off in his room, they proceeded with their usual fuss.

"Dad, this is getting serious." Clint complained, sitting on a chair by the window his elbows on his knees. "Why don't you come back? The kids miss you and it would make us feel a lot better if you stayed with us. I don't like leaving you here."

"I appreciate the thought, Clint." Steve said. "And it means the world to me that you would be wiling to take care of an old man. But I belong here."

"Cut the shit, Dad!" Clint launched from his seat and began pacing angrily. Laura stood by the door watching with tears in her eyes. "You're not just any old man, you're my father. You raised me and Mary, you've been there for the birth of Cooper and Lila and Peter! You belong with your family."

"Son, we've been over this." Steve began sadly. He hated making his children feel abandoned, but he had to try.

"But he's never going to come back." Clint glared at his father. "I know how much you love him but we love him too. It sucks, we know. But you're not doing yourself any favors putting yourself through this over and over again."

"This time is different." The older man slowly sank down onto his bed and looked at his son meaningfully.

"Dad, what happened?" Clint begged.

Steve heaved a sigh. "He wasn't back for more than a minute before I lost him again. It's getting shorter and shorter, each time."

"Oh, Dad." Laura crossed the room and sank on the mattress next to him. She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm so sorry."

Steve patted her arm and smiled sadly at Clint. "He may very well and truly be gone."

Clint stared at the floor and his fists were clenched tightly at his sides. To him, it felt like he was losing both of his parents at once and he wasn't sure how to take it. He stalked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. Laura watched him go and sighed. It wasn't going to be an easy night, what with Clint's aggravation and Laura's understanding they were more than likely to butt heads over this.

"You do what you need to do, Dad." Laura whispered. "Don't worry about Clint, it'll take him time but eventually he'll understand." She stood up and smiled at him. "We're expecting again." Her hand rested on her stomach and Steve's eyes widened. "Yeah, our number three. I just thought I should let you know, it's still early yet and we want to surprise everyone." She leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

Steve nodded. "You too, Missy."

Laura gave him one last smile before she left the room in search of her husband. Steve sat there, lost in thought. He was going to have another grandchild. This one Tony will never get the chance to hold and get to know. Peter managed to be born before that dementia really hit and took over. Steve remembered how happy Tony was to be holding his latest grandchild and how excited he was to watch him grow up. Tears leaked out of the corners of blue eyes and the thought that this last one will never get to know either of his grandparents. That he or she will have to rely on the others to remember them. He wiped his face and stood. It was late enough that the only one on duty would be his favorite nurse. He opened his door and peered into the hallway. The light from the moon was barely enough to see and there was a yellow glow coming from the desk. He carefully walked down the hall and pushed himself against the wall at the nurse's station. He paused for a minute and peered around the corner, the desk was empty and he couldn't hear anyone in the office. He smiled and started to creep along the corridor towards Tony's room.

"Mr. Rogers." A stern voice stopped him and he slowly turned to see the nurse who had helped him in his endeavor to retrieve his husband. She stood in the door way into the nurse's office with her hands on her hips. "What are you doing wandering around this late at night?"

"I couldn't sleep." Steve said with a small shrug. "Figured I could go for a walk to ease some of the restlessness."

"Mmm-hmm," she hummed. "You know the rules, you're not supposed to be out of your room past nine o'clock."

"Oh my!" Steve said pretending to be shocked. "Is it really that late?" He turned to look at the clock behind the desk. The time was fifteen past midnight. "Good lord, that heart attack really messed with my inner clock."

The nurse looked at him with nothing but pure amusement. "You know what, how about you head back to your room. I'm going to run down to the break room and get something to eat, it may take awhile but you better be in bed by the time I come and check on you." She leveled him a false glare before heading towards the elevator.

Steve smiled and quickly walked down an adjacent hallway to where he knew Tony's room was located. He knocked on the door and waiting until a faint 'come in' was called out. He made his way into the room and stood in front of the closed door, watching Tony as he sat up in his bed. He looked beautiful. His brown hair was now just silvery grey, but his eyes still held the youthful brown that Steve had come to love more and more. His face hasn't changed much besides a few wrinkles around the eyes, mouth and nose and he was still miraculously tanned. Steve couldn't hold back the love he felt pouring out of him at the sight of the only man he ever loved.

"What time is it?" Tony asked dazedly. "What's going on?" Steve walked over to the chair next to the bed and slowly sat down. He grabbed Tony's hand and looked into those beautiful eyes, he froze in shock. Staring back at him were two brown eyes, so deep in love that Steve wasn't sure if it was his own projection of his feelings or if Tony knew who he was and remembered the lifetime they shared together. Steve looked away for a moment to collect himself before he met his lover's gaze once more. No. It was still there. His Tony had come back.

"Hi." Steve breathed out with a shaky laugh.

Tony smiled. "Hey, soldier."

Tears welled in Steve's eyes and he sniffed a couple of times. "Hey, sweetheart." He kissed Tony's hand and thanked God for the miracle. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to read to you."

"I was so worried that you weren't going to come back." Tony whispered. "I saw you being wheeled out and I was scared that would be the last time I saw you." Steve just placed another kiss on Tony's knuckles. "What's going to happen?" Steve gazed at his husband in confusion. "What will happen when I forget again? When I can't remember anything? What are you going to do?"

Steve took in a deep breath. "I'll do what I've always done." He whispered. "I'll be here. I'll love you through everything. And I'm never going to leave."

"Steve, do you think that our love is strong enough to create miracles?" Tony asked.

"Of course." The once blonde man answered without hesitation. "It's what brings you back to me."

Tony blinked and a couple of tears ran down his cheeks. "Do you think that it can take us away together?"

"Sweetheart, our love is strong enough it can do anything." Steve said.

He leaned over and placed a small kiss on Tony's mouth, he leaned up and was about ready to leave when Tony's hand tightened on his. He stopped and waited for Tony to speak up.

"Stay?" Tony asked quietly.

Steve nodded. Tony moved over to the very edge of the bed and Steve climbed in next to him. After a moment, the couple situated themselves comfortably resting against each other and they both closed their eyes. Steve relished in the feel of having Tony so close to him again, to have him within touching distance, to be able to share a bed again. His heart felt light and he thought that he could be soaring about the country, arms spread like the wings of a bird.

Tony pushed closer and whispered, "I love you."

Steve smiled. "I love you, Tony."

"Good night." Tony sighed.

"Good night." Steve kissed the top of Tony's head one last time before breathing, "I'll be seeing you."


End file.
